“‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”        

                                                              - Lao-tsu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

A few weeks ago, I was having a heart to heart with a CEO needs to get out his office more often.  He wants to become an ambassador for his company.  More accurately, he knows he needs to.       

Like many bosses, he would rather stab himself repeatedly in the thigh with a sharp pencil than give a speech or interview to a reporter.  This is an accomplished executive who has led the transformation of the company, bringing an innovative new product to market, growing the customer base, cutting costs and improving profitability.  His credibility with employees and the board is rock solid.  It’s just that the company is kind of a best kept secret.  The story needs to be told.  This is a great time to do it.   

The real issue isn’t time, because as CEO, he determines how he spends his time.  The issue is mindset.  He’s used to organizing his calendar one way; this change requires a significant modification in behavior and priorities.  He knows he needs to do it and wants a coach to make it  happen.  ”I need someone to hold me accountable for getting there,” he says.

Changing your mindset isn’t like changing your shirt.  It requires a goal, commitment and a plan.  It isn’t enough to have the intention; you have to put these activities on your calendar every day.  If your schedule is filled with executive team and employee meetings, it isn’t going to happen.  Once you set the intention, you must schedule the intention and then honor the intention.  It won’t be comfortable at first.  It isn’t a familiar routine.  As my client observed,   “This will be a significant change in the way I spend my time.”

Changing a mindset is a little like standing at the foot of a mountain looking up and wondering, “How the hell am I supposed to get all the way up there?”  It seems insurmountable.  You can either turn back and head home or you can commit.  That means you draw up a plan, buy some gear and hire a crew to go with you.  You break down this overwhelming goal into doable tasks.  These are the steps that keep you from becoming paralyzed, staring at the mountain and saying, “It looks awful cold up there.” 

If you’re having trouble breaking down a big goal into smaller tasks, one approach is to imagine you’re already there.  Some of you who read my blog regularly know I suggested this ”looking back” exercise right after the New Year.  The idea is to imagine it’s 2012, just about two years from now.  You’re already up at the top of the mountain.  How did you get all the way up there?

When I posed the question to the CEO, he said, ”Well, I guess I started by deciding that I was going to go.”

“Good start,” I said.  

“I cleared my calendar several months out and starting scheduling time with the coach and the marketing team,” he said.   

“What else?” I asked.

“They booked me to speak at several events this year, so I had deadlines on my calendar,” he continued.

And so on.

By imagining that you have already achieved a goal it becomes so much clearer what you really need to do to succeed.  Instead of seeing obstacles, you see results, and the obstacles melt away. Once you “know” what “worked” you feel motivated.

Our CEO has started working on what I like to call a”Speech in a Drawer” (see Speak Like a CEO, Secrets to Commanding Attention and Getting Results).   We set a date by which the first draft will be finished for rehearsal.  Coaching dates are already on the calendar to write and develop stories that highlight his company’s accomplishments and lessons learned along the way.  He’s already started to relax; it will get easier as we go.  He’s already thinking, “Okay, I can do this.”  If you have a copy of Speak Like a CEO, refer to Chapter 16, pages 183-189 for five sample coaching plans you can implement on your own.

As you check off tasks you start to feel differently.  Not only are you achieving important goals; you are transforming your self image.  By starting with the end game belief (not just a far off goal) and scheduling activities you already know “worked,” you are able to identify important milestones, and that in turn energizes you and helps you commit to the process.    

Recently I listened to In Search of Excellence guru Tom Peters describing his drive from a home in Tinmouth VT to his other home, in Boston.   Obviously he is well-versed when it comes to imagining goals and milestones.  Peters gets out of bed and leaves between 3:15 and 3:30 a.m. because he really hates traffic.  (Having spent 9 years in television getting up at the same hour I can tell you that is a brutal hour to drag yourself out of bed but it is heaven to drive in Boston at that hour.) 

What gets him through the trip is marking the milestones.  Peters knows precisely what to look for at each stage of the trip. A house 17 miles from his Vermont house is 10% of the way; a restaurant where he can get a cup of coffee is a quarter of the way to Boston.  By anticipating and marking the milestones with visuals, he is able to stay awake and engaged. 

Think about what you’re trying to accomplish right now.  What are the milestones?  How will you see them?  what will mark your arrival?  The best way to do it is to put them on your calendar.  It’s a visual checklist.  Seeing things; knowing they’re just around the corner- well, that’s highly motivating. 

As always I welcome your ideas and suggestions on getting there.  What has worked for you?  Hit leave a reply.  

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On Sunday the Obama team fanned out to deliver their talking points - and you have to wonder whether they’d had their coffee- or even glanced at the weekend ”talking points.”  On the topic of jobs “saved or created” (which in and of itself is a ludicrous concept, impossible to prove or substantiate) they simply didn’t have their stories straight.  The Keystone cops look like a well-oiled tactical team by comparison.

By mid day Sunday, the three White House advisers had appeared on the Sunday news programs with three vastly different estimates of how many jobs could be credited to President Obama’s Recovery Act.

Valerie Jarrett: “The Recovery Act saved thousands and thousands of jobs.” (playing it safe)

Robert Gibbs: It…“saved or created 1.5 million jobs.” (the middle guy)

David Axelrod:  It has…”created more than – or saved more than 2 million jobs.” (swinging for the fences)

Read the full scripts of their comments on Politico by clicking here. 

What Went Wrong?

Not only did the three amigos fail to sync up their fairytales and agree on a manufactured number, they further eroded their credibility with the spin.  Is there an American not in a coma who isn’t aware that the “real” unemployment rate is about 15% right now?   Even Obama’s ardent base of supporters must be wondering which planet these folks are living on.  I took this statement off of the Bureau of Labor statistics web site:

“In December, both the number of unemployed persons, at 15.3 million, and the unemployment rate, at 10.0 percent, were unchanged. At the start of the re-cession in December 2007, the number of unemployed persons was 7.7 million, and the unemployment rate was 5.0 percent.”  

The Obama gang is also losing ground trying to persuade Americans that jobs are suddenly ”job one” for the administration.  Two weeks earlier, prior to the seismic shift in politics called Scott Brown, was there any question that health care was “job one.”   Confused?  Or just seeing right through the rhetoric?

Business Leaders Are Also Acting Stupidly

If you read my blog regularly you know that I don’t often comment on politics.  However, there are so many lessons for business that I simply cannot ignore what’s happening now. 

A good friend recently suggested I should actually write a book called “How Stupid Can You Be.”  The more I think about it, the more I like it.  This book could write itself. 

Who can forget the image of the CEOs of the major automakers flying in on private jets, and then putting their hands out for a taxpayer bail out?  

And, what about the four most powerful bankers telling a congressional committee that they were “victims of circumstance”  unable to anticipate the near collapse of our financial system and therefore should not be held responsible for their role in upending the global economy.  I’m not saying there isn’t plenty of blame to go around but these types of answers make your brain hurt.

 . 

So the Obama administration has certainly not cornered the market on stupid pet tricks.  Businesses  make the these mistakes all the time.  And I believe the root of it is that some people are just arrogant enough to think people aren’t paying attention, or don’t care.

 How to Avoid this Stupidity:

• Do what’s important first
• Acknowledge contradictions
• Protect your integrity
• Give an honest analysis
• Don’t make up the facts
• Don’t be tone deaf
• Stop treating people like idiots 

As always, I welcome your thoughts…

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“Be in charge of your own destiny or some one else will.”

-Jack Welch

Your destiny is determined each day by the path you choose.  But just having a goal and putting one step in front of the other each day isn’t enough.  You also need to let other people know what you’re doing.   That means communicating up, around, sideways and down the middle.

Let me give you an example.   A story about guy who had his eyes on the prize, but forgot to let his boss in on it. 

He told the story right before I got up to speak last night in Rye Brook New York to a group of IT leaders.  He had read chapter one of Motivate Like a CEO, realized where dropped the ball, and wanted to share it with everybody.

Turns out he and his technology team had worked feverishly to bring a project in on time and on budget.  He was proud of the fact that he’d been communicating exceptionally well with his team.  They were engaged in the work; in spite of some challenges they were excited and firing on all cylinders.  Trouble was- he forgot to tell the folks upstairs.   

He was so busy making sure those cylinders were firing that he failed to tell the executive team they were taking a trip. When he finally looped them back in, it became clear they didn’t understand what he’d been up to.  “Why are you spending so much time and energy on it?” they asked.  What a shame – a great effort without the applause.  Phase II?  Who knows if it will even happen?

What Went Wrong?

This story must have a familiar ring; I hear it all the time.  Your team loves you, they work hard for you, but somehow you and they aren’t getting the credit or the recognition you deserve.  Nine times out of ten it isn’t because you work for a boss who is a jerk.  It’s because of a simple failure to communicate up.

Communicating “up” is one of the most strategic aspects of the job.  You have to do it - for yourself - for your team - for your organization.  When you don’t, precious time, resources and effort are wasted. 

Ask yourself, this - in an ever changing world, where priorities are shifting, how can you possibly know that your activities are aligned today’s goals?  The only way to know is to have a robust dialogue going with the top of the organization.  

Remember This, When Briefing Top Executives

·         When you go in to give a briefing, be prepared, and be flexible.  Things may have changed.  Week to week, organizations are juggling a host of priorities and business realities.  Sure, in an ideal world, the company sets its sights on a target and focuses like a laser beam.  But we all know how difficult that is in this ultra volatile economy. 

·         That’s why you need to keep people in the loop - formally and informally.  Pick up the phone, send an email, schedule a meeting - be available - and don’t assume they know.

·         Be sure to ask questions and listen between the lines.  You may see heads nodding while the tone is less than enthusiastic.  That’s a signal.  Pay attention.  

·         You can still champion your project or idea if you believe in it.  Just be sure you can make a rock solid case for how it aligns with the company’s priorities.

·         Come in well prepared with facts and information that helps them see it the way you see it.  Your job as a leader is to communicate not just what, but why.

It isn’t Just Up - It’s Around, Sideways, and Down the Middle

I have a client who is living a nightmare right now - after six months of hard work a major project has been scuttled.  She and her team spent months planning, preparing and discussing with the top leaders of the company, only to have the rug pulled out from under them at the 11^th hour. Chaos has ensued.

Her team is not only deflated and demoralized; planned promotions will not take place; people will be moving to other parts of the organization; some may leave the company.  Perhaps most ruinous- it was a pretty good plan- so the benefits to the organization will be lost.

The issue really wasn’t just communicating up.  It appeared the top folks were on board.  Behind the scenes, however, some powerful forces who didn’t like it prevailed.  It all went down in about three hours.  This is what I like to call unpredictably predictable.  The post-mortem will show that the failure was in building alliances around the organization, going sideways and down the middle.

Maybe it would have happened anyway.  We’ll never know.

How To Avoid This Fate

• When you’re working on a major project, I recommend that you create a communications plan. 
• This document should live side by side with the project plan, or better still, inside of it.  
• Make a list of every single individual or group who can influence, touch, derail, question, wonder, doubt or decide something related to the plan. 
• Make a plan to circle around, ask questions,
• Listen between the lines, and be sure that you address head on not only the merits of an idea but the impact on others

As always, leave a reply if you’d like to contribute to these ideas on communicating up, around, sideways and down the middle.

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Last night Jeff Taylor and I were invited to speak to the Harvard Business School Alumni Association.   When you share the stage with Jeff, get ready for a great ride because he’s cool and he’s got cool stories.  You  should have been there watching the audience as he described taking a dare to ski three miles towed by a blimp, at 30 MPH in a quest to break a record set by the flamboyant Richard Branson of Virgin. 

As founder of Monster.com Jeff has a lot of these stories.  In 1999 when Monster.com was just hitting its stride but certainly not yet “monstrous,” he spent a fortune to buy Super Bowl ads which flopped.  You might remember the ads depicted kids saying things like, “When I grow up, I want to claw my way into middle management.” What happened?  “We were being ironic.  It didn’t work with a bunch of guys drinking beer in front of a game.”  Ultimately the ads kept running, caught on like mad, and rest is history.  

There were more stories.  At the 2002 Winter Olympics Taylor spent four million bucks to build a snow labarynth and it was the warmest on record.  Just in time as the snow was melting the Today Show called and he got four minutes on live TV.  ”Matt ran through the thing in no time and thought no big deal.  Al was holding a flag just stuck in the middle,” says Taylor.  “Katie gets stuck, backs out, starts again, and says now she gets it.  Sometimes in your career you have to back up and start over.  It was incredible,” says Taylor. 

As often happenes when I go out to speak, I get more than I give.   Watching Jeff regale this crowd of Business School grads (though he himself took 23 years to graduate from college) was more fun than anything else I’ve done this week, or this month for that matter.  Here’s a CEO who gets it on so many levels. 

When I interviewed him for Motivate Like a CEO last year, he told me that he had noticed as his company grew, his role changed.  He went from founder to CEO to Chief Monster, his favorite role, where he went out and built the brand by going everywhere he was invited and speaking to just about anyone who would have him.  He got really good at speaking.  Not only is he a great storyteller, he openes up and shares everything - humor, emotion, personal insights, reflections - it’s no holds barred.  A lot of people in the audience might have assumed that he was a natural, but as he told me last year, and as he told the audience last night, he works at it, and keeps working at it.  He says he  really believes that Woody Allen line about 80% of success is about showing up.  “I just got back from Iceland where I was invited to judge an entrepreneurs contest.  They’re trying to save Iceland.  Why do I go?  I’m not sure.  But I’ve been showing up for a long time and it works.”

Jeff has two companies now - Eons - an online community for baby boomers, and a spinoff called Tributes.com for online obituaries.  If you’ve read Motivate Like a CEO you know that coming up with big ideas and inspiring others to get behind them is one of the characteristics of successful leaders.  One of the best questions last night were about where leaders get these “big ideas.”  “I have ideas all the time - I’m in the shower, I get an idea, and then I get out, and I forget.  I have to get back in the shower to find the idea,” he says.  “I wake up in the night, with a pad of paper next to the bed, and write them down.”  Of course everybody HAS ideas, says Jeff.  It’s those who ACT on them who make things happen and attract other people who are excited about them too.

You know the blimp ski story?  Jeff says the coolest thing was that as he was bumping along, he was hit by a huge wake left by a barge and wiped out.  All 500 of his employees were gathered in the cafeteria watching it live.  They went wild.  They loved it.  Working for Jeff was like that.  “We had the absolute best culture at Monster.  People loved working there.”  What you have to appreciate about Jeff is he gets that.  When he dons his skis, or builds snow forts, he’s out to have fun, and he also knows how his employees will feel about it.  He’s their leader.  

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Leadership guy Jon Gordon is writing about a timely topic. The author of  Playing to Win, What the Best do Better Than Everyone Else, and Training Camp, Ten Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and team with Positive Energy, writes this week that “There was a time in most of our lives when we had no fear-that feeling when we jumped from the jungle gym and slammed our little bodies to the ground.”  He says we “felt there was nothing we couldn’t do.”  Yet somewhere along the way Gordon notes that we start to understand what it means to be fearful, and “let fear into our lives.”  And this of course, changes the way we approach our careers and our lives.

This is a timely message.  Even the most intrepid, courageous leader has been battered by tough economic times.  No question that the downturn has helped us focus on the highest priorites, improve efficiency, and execute with fewer resources.  Yet now is not the time to operate in fear. It’s time to screw up our courage, dive in the pool, and encourage our teams to do the same.  We’ve need to break away from the negative energy that is feeing our fears and insecurities; stop listening to the inner voice that says we shouldn’t or can’t.  As Gordon says, “go after our dreams.”  What’s at stake is not just the opportunity in front of us.  Living in fear can become a habit that keeps us stuck for the rest of our lives.

If you “play to lose,” and communicate this to others, then everyone in your organization will do the same.  That’s why everytime you speak with your direct reports, your teams, and your organization you need to get focused and feel the courage. People aren’t just listening to the words, they are reading between the lines.  You can’t fool them.  Take charge of your emotional state before you speak.  Communicate wih confidence. Invite others to make courageous decisions.  Make them believe in themselves.  Encourage them to lose the fear. 

As I’ve discussed in Motivate Like a CEO, leaders are the keepers of the emotional life of their organizations.  In challenging times, they must take control of their emotions and lead the way.  If you are a leader, now is the time to take an emotional inventory, before you stand up to speak.  Get in touch with your own courage, and then, light a fire; make them believe. If you live and work with zeal and act with courage they will do the same. As Gordon puts it, “overcome fear and adopt a play to win mindset.”   

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This week I’ve been thinking about that saying, “lead by example.”  The origin of this well-worn standard is a Chinese proverb, yi shen zuo ze, which means ”to set a good example,” or “set yourself as the standard.”  For thousands of years people have known that a leader’s actions must match his or her words.  As I have discussed in the 8 principles of Motivate like a CEO, great leaders walk the talk. 

But is that enough?

Yes and no.

If you work in a high functioning organization, chances are your leaders walk the talk.  They live the values.  It comes from the top down.  Leaders who live the values inspire others.  

This brings me to posting your values statements on the wall.  This is a form of communication, but it isn’t the answer to creating a values based culture. People believe what they see and hear from their leaders, not what they read on a poster. If one leader in the organization is acting by a different set of rules, people will see that individual as an outlier.  However, if employees see that more than one leader living by different standards, that’s a trend.  They’ll scoff at the values and their cynicism will foster a negative, demoralized workplace.  

So of course, leaders have to live the values.  But is that enough?

Not really.  Why?

Because in a large organization, most people don’t get to meet you.  They certainly don’t see you every day, every week or every month.  In fact, they may go years without ever shaking your hand.

However, most people will be invited to a business meeting and hear you speak; they may receive emails from you; they may hear from their own bosses about how you’ve handled certain situations.    

This is why a leader has to not just lead by example, but also talk about examples of how the organization are living by its values.  If you can’t have lunch with every employee, you need to connect with them in a personal way through the stories of the organization.  You can do this through speeches, presentations, videos and even email and blogs.  

Tell stories that demonstrate how successful people in your organiztaion are walking the talk.  Collect these stories routinely and then share how teams and groups have been living the values.  Once you start to do this people will tell you more stories about living the values and you’ll soon have a collection of these stories to share. 

The ability to share compelling stories with points through speaking and writing is a critical leadershp skill.  if you’re not sure how to find stories - think of a time when your team has faced a difficult situation.  Perhaps you disappointed a customer and had to “do right by them.”  Perhaps someone working on a project had to go above and beyond.  What happened?  Why did the team or individual make that decision?  What was the outcome?  How did it illustrate the values? What did the team learn from that experience?  How can others apply the lesson?

These are the stories that you need to share with your organization.  For your next presentation, investigate three examples of how the organization has succeeded, and analyze how those successes are tied to your values.  It will be well worth it, because when people hear a story, they remember the story, and then they remember the point.

So living by example is only half of the battle. The rest is sharing the stories with others. 

以身作则
yǐ shēn zuò zé
To set a good example / Set yourself as the standard

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I was reading Marshall Goldsmith’s blog and came across  ”4 Tips for Efficient Succession Planning” today.  One of the world’s most trusted executive coaches has finally put his finger on a big, broken piece of Leadership Development.   

In my experience, companies are way too focused on standard assessments and planning meetings, where they sit in a room, talking about their “top talent”, and moving young hi po names around on a board like puzzle pieces.  This is all part of “succession planning,” and Goldsmith says we spend far too much time doing it.  Instead he says, why don’t we start calling it “succession DEVELOPMENT.” 

“Plans do not develop anyone,” says Goldsmith, “only development experiences develop people. We see many companies put more effort and attention into the planning process than they do into the development process.”

If we focus on “planning” instead of “development,” we end up promoting smart, technical people who can’t motivate, inspire and empower people.  These leaders have business sense but hardly a clue about how to influence others and get results.  

After years of watching young leaders succeed and fail, I’ve noticed that the missing link for most of them is what is often called “executive presence.”  Executive presence is a combination of skills and qualities that make a person highly effective with others.  It’s often described as the impact you have when you walk into a room, engage in a conversation; it’s also how you listen, treat other people, behave in work and social situations, and even the way you dress.  

I think those things are important but the definition of executive presence is much broader.  It’s the knowing your leadership view, being able to speak your mind and articulate a big idea that excites others.  Even the strongest business mind will not be able to build a collaborative, innovative, progressive organization if they don’t know how to influence others and move them to act.

What too many companies are doing is sending their high potential leaders to a few courses and calling it development.  What they need to do is provide a structured, long term learning environment where leaders can learn and apply these communication skills in real time and real life situations.

If Human Resources groups charged with “succession planning” could get their companies to focus on the long term development of communication skills as an essential part of the leadership package, they would be pleasantly surprised at how these high potential leaders could quickly assimilate into new roles.   

This is the main reason we developed our Executive Coaching in Communications program.  Few coaches or courses are able to help leaders develop this critical skill.  Too often, leaders are told they need to improve their communication without being given a structured, long-term plan and resources for doing so.

In our program we focus on working with leaders in real time on real events, so that they learn to exercise this muscle - finding their leadership voice - and making it stronger.   If you’d like to learn more I recommend reading Motivate Like a CEO especially chapters 3,4, 11 and 12.   

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I’m often asked, “what are the biggest mistakes people make in a business presentation?”  I’ve seen speakers trip up on all of these, and the pain is also personal - I’ve made every one of these mistakes myself.

Here are 5 mistakes to avoid at all costs:

Mistake #1:  Failing to get important information about your audience.  This is not just a rookie mistake.  Experienced speakers do it, usually when they get lazy and make assumptions.  The more you speak, the more you kid yourself that you know enough to get by.  If you want to hear a story about how I blew it by making assumptions about an audience, listen to my new podcast, “How to Make Your Audience Love You,” which will be posted on I Tunes next week.

The simplest way to avoid this is to pick up the phone and talk to the meeting planner or person in charge. They know the audience.  If they don’t, they’ll probably be happy to set you up to interview one or two people who will be there.  Get on the phone, find out what’s on their minds, and craft your speech with them in mind.

Mistake #2: Failing to open with a bang.  You have to grab them.  Audiences size you up in about 30 seconds.  If they’re generous they’ll give you a minute or two.  Attention spans are shorter than ever and we live in a culture of entertainment.  You don’t have to be Letterman, but you should make an effort.

So, engage them from the start.  Tell a story that makes a powerful point and takes your audience to the heart of the issue.  And please, please, don’t ever say, “Good morning,” and wait for the audience to respond.  Think about how you feel when it happens.  Audiences want to drink their coffee and be engaged in the first few minutes.  Don’t make them fake a cheery attitude.

Mistake #3:  Depending too much on your slides.  Aren’t you sick of hearing this?  But 98.7 percent of all presentations are driven by PowerPoint and are deadly, deadly, deadly.

You’re going to have to depend on your slides if you start slamming the presentation together the night before you give it.  How can you be creative, find interesting visuals, or come up with stories and examples that make the presentation memorable?   If you start the night before you’ll have to read the bullet points because you don’t know your presentation.  The bottom line - don’t procrastinate!

Mistake #4:  Failing to find time to practice.  And this is an absolute.  You must practice.  Sometimes people tell me they are afraid that they will come across as too rehearsed.

That’s absurd!

I’ve never, ever seen a speaker who isn’t better when they practice.  Practice has many purposes; you try out your comments and edit out loud; you hear how it will sound to your audience; you internalize the messages; your synapses start firing and you create pathways of recollection that will be handy when you get up in front of the group.  As one of my mentors Patricia Fripp often says, practice is the work, performance is the relaxation.

Mistake #5:  Failing to connect with the audience while you’re on stage.  I mean, really connecting with them.  Looking them in the eye and seeing them.  Enjoying the opportunity to be there.  Having fun.  Making it an experience.

One of the most important keys to connecting is to know your material very well.  If you don’t, all you can think about is what you want to say.  You won’t even know the audience is there if you’re busy trying to figure out what’s on the next slide.

Make it a point to practice and know your material.  Then, when you step to the front of the room, look around, meet people eye to eye; gauge their reaction as you speak; ask them questions, make observations; in other words, be in the moment with your audience.  You don’t have to be perfect or polished as long as you are with them.

I welcome your comments on the “biggest mistakes” especially if you would like to add to this list.  I’m always looking for new ideas.  Just click on comments at the end of this article.

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The media have had a field day ridiculing last nights Beer Summit in the Rose Garden.  I don’t know why.  I thought the photo op was priceless.  A President in shirtsleeves who wishes he had “calibrated his remarks,” sipping on his Bud light with a nattily dressed Harvard professor who should have calibrated his actions and a police officer who has shown a superb ability to calibrate SINCE the incident (although he may still wish that he’d walked away). 

The reasons I think it was valuable, priceless really, have nothing whatsoever to do with race relations.    I really don’t think this incident will make a whit of difference on that score.  There is too much history, too much heartache, too much mistrust between blacks and police.  It will take decades to fix that.  And, I am among those who don’t even see this as a racial profiling incident.  There’s just nothing on those 911 tapes that would indicate the police went to Gates house for anything other than a burglary call.  

So back to why it was priceless.  Here are three guys coming together in a civil way and agreeing to disagree.  To me that’s what it was about.  Civility and respect.  In a country where civility is barely discussed, here was an opportunity to see it in action.  It’s hard work, to agree to disagree with anyone.  We get entrenched in our views and self-righteous about every slight, and we often never let it go.  

 So the value of a photo op - is tremendous.  I really don’t care what they said to each other.  I doubt it there was anything said that was noteworthy or important.  They showed up, they talked, and they left with their dignity fairly intact.  It ratcheted down the emotions and showed us that it is possible to have relationships without agreeing with each other all the time.

There’s a business lesson here - when you have personal, negative conflict in your organization- people tearing each other apart - not just disagreeing about what should be done — you need to address it.  You cannot let it fester.  Bring people together around a table and send a message that you won’t tolerate the infighting, backstabbing, plotting, scheming, undermining, sniping and badmouthing.  

By the way, I’m very much FOR apologies.  Read my earlier blog on that topic.  An apology is more powerful, but In the real world it doesn’t always happen.  But healing, even transformation is possible when you bring people together.  The photo op around that table says, we’re grown ups, we can live together, and we can treat each other with respect.  

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