30th Street Station, Philadelphia, PA

The other day on my way to a lunch meeting in Philadelphia I passed by the scene of a crime - my own - some 20 years ago.   It wasn’t illegal, unethical or immoral; however, what I did was nearly fatal to my budding television career. 

Snow flurries were swirling outside 30th Street Station on a bitter cold, pre-Thanksgiving night, when I was sent out to do a live shot for the 11 o’clock news on WCAU-TV.  The music played (Where do they get those awful, self-important news jingles); the anchorman introduced me; I offered my one-line “lead-in;” they rolled the pre-recorded story, voiced from the field. When it ended, they cut back to me for the live close; I started, and then stopped.  Mid SENTENCE.  I couldn’t for the life of me remember how I had planned to throw back to the studio.  

I still wince when I imagine the panic that must have ensued in the control room.  ”What the….did her brain freeze?  What’s wrong?  BATES!  You’re ON!  Mike - CUE.  CUE!!!!! We’ve got nothing. Standby, Larry…back to you….”  After the longest 7 or 8 seconds of my lifetime, Larry Kane must have apologized to the audience.  I don’t remember.  It’s a blank. I was horrified.  And humiliated.

Trudging slowly up the stairs to the newsroom now after midnight, I encountered producer Paul Gluck who had waited for me, rather than joining the crew for an after-news beer.  

“What the hell happened?” he asked. 

“I don’t know,” I replied.  “I memorized every word.” 

“That was your first mistake,” he retorted.  “Never memorize.  Internalize.”

I have often shared that story.  The lesson is to master material without setting yourself up to be a victim of momentary memory lapse.  You can’t count on the brain to fire on all cylinders WORD FOR WORD.  Practice phrases and internalize the ESSENCE of it.   

I share the story for a different reason here.  I was struck - as I drove by that side of the building in the photo above - the scene of my  “crime” -  and felt a flutter of those old, raw emotions.  It wasn’t exactly like yesterday but I was back there, feeling something again.   

That’s when it dawned on me to write about this.  About how important it is to go back and re-live those moments as you think about sharing your stories.  Not just retell.  Re-LIVE.

Freeze frame the moment.  You’ll find a rich source of material.  Because it’s the feelings that make your story powerful.  Connecting with audiences on an emotional level is the point.  Leaders teach.  People learn when they make both an intellectual and emotional connection.  Hence, emotion is part of teaching. 

Truth be told, people vastly prefer to hear about your mistakes.  To err is human, and people want to follow human beings.  They appreciate leaders who open up.  They connect with you emotionally.  And that is  powerful stuff.

You may not relish going back to the scene of some of those crimes.  However, its easy, working with a partner, to recall emotions and imbue your presentation with authenticity. Let them prompt you. ”How did you feel about that?”  When we teach  storytelling “live” at boot camps it’s amazing how well this works.  You see the impact in the faces of the audience, as the storyteller reveals an emotion.  They soften, smile, nod, laugh, and cry.  

Yes, it is appropriate in business to share emotions.  In fact, if you want to influence hearts and minds, it is imperative.  So don’t take the detour.  Drive by the scene of the crime, if only literally.  See what happens when you allow yourself remember… how you felt.    

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Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
‘Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
The Who, 1978

When the English rock band The Who (Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, plus bassist john Entwistel and drummer Keith Moon) recorded one of their iconic 70’s anthems, their chorus posed a haunting rhetorical question to a guy who wakes up in Soho after a drunken, brawling night.    

More than 30 years later, it’s hard to get those words out of your mind isn’t it?  Not only when you’re 23, nursing a hangover, pondering how to make something of your life; but also when you’re older and figuring out what am I doing here?  It’s important to ask because we all have a need to connect who we are with what we do.  Call that - authenticity.    

Years ago in designing our executive coaching program we developed an in-depth personal history interview for that reason.  We realized we couldn’t coach anyone until we knew who they were.  Where were you born; what did your parents do; what kind of student were you; what was college like; what did you want to be when you grew up?  What happened earlly in your career; who were the people who shaped you; why did you choose this path?  Why this industry?  This company?  This leadership role?  

What’s intriguing is that this process isn’t just a valuable coaching tool.  It helps our clients remember stories they had forgotten that reconnect the past with the present.  These stories are a bridge to authentic leadership; useful not only to you, but to the people you lead.  They also want to know.  Who are you?      

Years ago I met Dan Wolf, CEO and founder of Cape Air. Dan is a pilot with a side-splitting sense of humor and a gift for storytelling. Known as the airborne executive, he grew up fascinated by flying, hanging around airports.  In the summers between college at Wesleyan, he learned to fly around Cape Cod. He tooks his last semester of college off to become an instructor and commercial pilot.  Cape Air began as a flying school and then expanded to take on more and more routes.  Eventually they became America’s largest privately-owned and operated commuter airline. 

In an interview in CNNMoney.com a couple of years ago, he said, “There are airline CEOs who make a point to be active on the front lines — handing out nuts and meeting passengers in the airplane — but I really love the idea of still being able to fly. I make it a point to fly Saturdays in the summer because I know we’re busy. I’ll see how the operation is working, and since I’m flying on the weekend, I’m not taking time away from my desk job.”

Now there is a guy who is passionate about his company.  He loves flying.  I understand who he is.  So do his employees.  This could account for the fact that when you click on the awards list of their web site you have to keep scrolling and scrolling.  They’ve won everything from the prestigious Ernst and Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award in New England to the Greater Boston Chamber Small Business Award, and Cape Cod Citizen of the Year Award, and dozens of others.

I don’t have any interest whatsoever in promoting or highlighting Dan Wolf - I’ve only met the guy once.  But I think I “get” who he is.  And I would imagine that people who work for him do, too. 

When people understand who a leader and that resonates with them, they’re like to want to be part of his or her organization.  If you love the Cape, enjoy the aviation business, like the idea of working for an employee owned company run by a guy with passion and a sense of humor, then you’re quite like to find Cape Air attractive.  And once you get there, you’re likely to work hard and stay around.  

It isn’t always an easy question to answer.  But I will tell you this.  It’s worth examining.  

Who are you?

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