A fascinating essay by Jonah Lehrer in the Wall Street Journal explores how nice people are likely to rise to power, and yet the very traits that got them there disappear when they get to the top.  Psychologists refer to this as the paradox of power.  Lehrer cites a compelling bunch of studies affirming this human tendency.  Apparently, SOME people who get to positions of authority by being polite, honest and compassionate become impulsive, reckless and rude once they get there. 

Here’s one example of the research on how nice people finish first, which I find utterly credible.  A University of California Berkeley psychologist gave students free pizza and a survey at the beginning of the year, and asked them to provide their first impressions of every other student in the dorm. At the end of the school year he comes back with more pizza and another survey.  Turns out that the nicest, most considerate, outgoing students were at the top of the freshman hierarchy.  Their peers conferred authority on the people they “liked.”

However, additional research shows that once SOME people gain power, they start listening less, making up their minds in spite of evidence to the contrary, growing less compassionate, more reckless, far less generous and even cheating when they know no one is looking.  In its most benign form, power tripping can lead to bad business decisions.  For example, one study found that overconfident CEOs were more likely to pursue innovation and take their companies in new technological directions, risks that often didn’t pay off.  “Unchecked, bad things can start to happen,” he said.  

I was thinking about that pizza study.  My daughter is going into her junior year in college, and her early impressions of some of kids she shared dorm space with have changed dramatically in two years.  It happened in high school.  You remember high school.  The popular crowd doesn’t “wear well,” over time.  At my daughter’s school, they were still outgoing (involved in every club and activity) but many were not nice or inclusive.  A few went REALLY BAD - mercilessly taunting kids on the lower rungs of the teenage social strata.  By 12th grade, my daughter used to refer this group, which had managed to retain social authority, as the “So-Called Popular Crowd,” with a sardonic look that would leave you in stitches.

So this isn’t news.  You know that old saying, ”Abolute power corrupts absolutely.”  I went looking for the origin to see how old it is.  It arose from John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton, (1834-1902) who expressed it as an opinion in a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton in 1887, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  Great men are almost always bad men.”  Human history is the story of good versus evil, the stories of the powerful and corrupt.  Still, it’s interesting to think about this tendency of leaders to  evolve for the worse, not the better, in terms of modern business.  What can be done - in terms of leadership development as well as business practices.  

In business we need leaders who are tough minded and  decisive.   You can’t please everyone.  You will disappoint.   You have a responsibility to the greater organization.  As Lehrer writes, ”In some cases, (these) new habits can help a leader be more decisive and single-minded, or more likely to make choices that will be profitable regardless of their popularity.” 

However since it’s human nature to cross the line - for decency, respect, courtesy, and even morality to be lost as people rise to power, how do we protect our organizations?   How can we encourage the right behaviors in leaders, in spite of the potential for things to go so wrong?  

The article suggests the remedy is transparency.  If people tend to think they’ll get caught in bad behaviors they tend not to go there.  Isolation breeds contempt.  There is, as Lehrer puts it, ”no cure for the paradox of power,” but transparency can keep people from doing bad things.

 Click here to read the entire essay.

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I used to be a devotee of the CBS show “Survivor.”  It’s fascinating the way that human beings adapt and live through horrible, if contrived circumstances.  In the corporate world, the equivalent of Survivor is the dreaded business meeting.  You don’t have to be wearing a loin cloth and eating worms to feel like a contestant.  Running from meeting to meeting, you must learn to outwit, outlast and outplay.

Like travelers in a jungle without food, water or time to think, people are desperate.  It’s not just physical deprivation.  It is the emotional toll.  When meetings routinely start late, run long, are badly managed, and accomplish little, you go a little insane.  To survive, you must outwit.  Come late; schedule calls during the meetings on purpose; duck out to answer “emergency” email; or just don’t show up.  Manipulate people to make them think you’re with them; leave the meeting and shoot them down behind their backs.  It’s a brutal, brutal game.    

Yesterday I was coaching a leadership team, and decided to throw down the gauntlet.  The topic was leading great meetings.  Something had to be done to shake things up.  I said, “Name one routine meeting that you could cut out altogether, or cut in half.  Add up the hours you would save.”   In the room: 11 leaders.  These are their numbers: 45, 45, 200, 10, 45, 25, 25, 45, 45, 90, 25.   That 600 hours a year.  For 11 people. 

Take it macro. The company has roughly 27,000 employees.  Imagine 20,000 of them routinely attend these types of meetings.  I could be flip and say “you do the math,” but what the heck - let me get out my calculator.  Hold on … it’s 12,000,000.   That is not a typo.  12 million “man hours.”  By cutting out one meeting. 

12 million is the record number of the famous posters Farrah Fawcet sold.  12 million is a lot of hours.  Hours that could be spent productively doing the work that drives your company forward.

Is it really possible to save this much time?  Of course!  There are three aspects to meeting “management:”  

• Planning - how you prepare for the meeting
• Conducting - what happens when you get into the room
• Leading  - the vital role that a meeting “owner” plays

The secret to success is commitment.  Learn the skills, commit to a new path, develop guidelines.  Come back in a month.  Take stock.  No excuses. 

Pretty soon, meetings start..going well.  You know how on Survivor when they get to take the luxury sailboat cruise around the island and get a hot shower, a burger and a beer?   People feel human again.  They want to get off the island.    

Here are a few “get off the island” tips:

• Decide whether or not to have the meeting - how else can you handle it?
• Eliminate people who don’t need to attend - the more people, the more time things take.
• Communicate the purpose of the meeting - if you don’t konw why you’re here, it expands.  
• Send a written agenda in advance so people come prepared and stick to the topics.
• Get rid of the “optional” and “tentative” invitations- commit or don’t have the meeting.
• Get decision makers and stakeholders to the table - otherwise you’ll be having another meeting.  
• Always go by the agenda; time for each item, owners, next step, outcomes.
• Set aside ten minutes at the end of every single meeting to assign tasks and deadlines.
• Plan shorter meetings. 10 minutes instead of 20. 20 instead of 30.  50 instead of an hour.

Don’t tell me “It’s not our culture,” or We’re a very inclusive group, we like to discuss things.”  Culture schmulture.  Anyone can do this.  

Or not.  That’s okay.  Back to the island for you.  Pass the worms.  

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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes, but no plans”

-Peter Drucker

A few years ago a client of our firm who had just wrapped up a three hour coaching session was walking out the door of our office.  “Don’t forget to e-mail it to me by Friday,” I overheard the coach say.  “Gee I don’t know when I’m going to do it, I’m so busy this week, but I will try to get it to you,” replied the client.

What do you think happened on Friday?  Three guesses and the first two don’t count.

As an eavesdropper in a conversation, it’s easy to pick up on whether people are committed.  You’ll hear phrases such as “I’ll have it by,” or or “you can expect it by x date.”  People who make commitments use verbs such as “will” and give you a time and date.  ”By Wednesday at ten,” or “on or before July 22nd.”  They say, “By Friday at noon,” instead of “by the end of the week.”    

You can develop this powerful skill - the language of commitment, and it is really vital to your success.  People who make and keep commitments rise to the top of their industries.  I think it’s because it is so rare.  We like and trust people who make a promise and deliver on it.  We promote them, follow them, and believe in them.

Those of you who have my books know my mantra: set the intention, schedule the intention, and honor the intention.  The key to the first step, set the intention, is to use the language of commitment.  Start today, with your first interaction of the morning that requires an action step. 

If you’re not sure how to be better at it, start by listening to leaders you admire.  Then practice what they do so naturally.  Use commitment language in conversation and e-mails.  Be clear about what you’ll deliver, choose the commitment action verb, and let people know when to expect it. 

The language of commitment is really valuable in project management.  For example, if you’re writing a memo or e-mail to several members of your team, instead of saying, “let’s try to wrap this up and send it out tomorrow, why not say, “Margie please complete your part by 10, Craig, your part by noon, so I can review and send it to Shellie to edit by 4 pm today.”  It leaves no doubt as to who needs to do what, when, and everyone is able to plan their day.  

A good way to evaluate whether your team is making real commitments is to watch as well as listen.  Do they readily commit verbally to deadlines and actions” or do they nod their heads and say “Sure, no problem.”?  Do they say look overwhelmed and say ”I should be able to,” or do they look you in the eye and promise, ”I’ll have it for you no later than Thursday afternoon.” 

The way to encourage the behavior is to prompt people to be specific.  If they say, “I should have it by the middle of the week,” you can ask, “So Wednesday you’ll have it to me by 2″ and make sure they say, “Yes, by 2,” or “Well I have a meeting, so I’ll have it to you by 4.”  Instead of using the fatal phrase “ASAP,” or “As soon as possible,” set a time on the calendar.  ”Could you bring this to a meeting on Friday at 9 A.M.?”  This verbal agreement makes life easier for everybody.  It reduces tension and helps you create a high functioning organization.  

There are some excellent books out there on getting things done.  These books focus on techniques for setting priorities, breaking things down into smaller tasks, and managing your calendar.  All great advice.  In my experience those techniques only work if you have first made the commitment.  And commitment starts with what you say to someone else.  Intention is expressed through language.  If we don’t practice the language of commitment, we haven’t made a commitment.  It’s too easy to fudge a “commitment” that is only in your head.

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President Obama needed a win.  Coming off of one of the worst speeches of his career, the Oval Office “tough guy speech,” his words were ringing hollow with Americans, drawing howls even from supporters.  But the President’s ratings soared when he gave a swift kick in the military britches to General Stanley McChrystal, relieving him of command in Afghanistan after the interview he gave to Rolling Stone. 

McChrystal sealed his own fate when during a 10-day interview with Michael Hastings he and his senior aides poked fun at just about every civilian at the top.  He left Hastings no choice to write, and the reader no room for interpretation, by assailing the President, Vice-President, and National Security Advisor James L. Jones -who they dubbed a “clown.”  

The president’s announcement was applaued by the media like the chorus in a Greek play.  Hallellujah.  Top network anchors and pundits on CBS, NBC, CNN, and MSNBC all used the same phrase: “brilliant move.”  (But they never talk to each other, wink wink.)  I guess it’s just because they stand  shoulder to shoulder on the White House lawn with six inches of room on each side.  Or perhaps it’s just because they’re all drinking from the same political water cooler.  And the water is very blue.

In spite of that, Mr. Obama deserved the praise for his decisiveness.  He showed a side we have been longing to see – Decisive Leader.  It was a bona fide Commander in Chief moment.  And we haven’t seen many (some toughies would say any) of those.  He deserved our genuine praise.  One swift decision is hardly a pattern, but Americans are truly, mady, deeply hoping to see more of THAT president.     

Decisiveness is cool.  Decisiveness is sexy.  And it’s in short supply- not just in politics, in business.   The C -Suite could use more leaders who can say yes to this, no to that.  Personally as the CEO of a small company I would not dare cast the first stone.  Some decisions are hard to make.  You get tied up in knots.  When you can’t make a decision however, you drive yourself and everyone else nuts. 

What people long for are leaders who can make the call and communicate to the troops.  Like every great general, your job is to decide and then get everyone aligned and moving in the same direction.  People who work for you just want to know what the game plan is so they can get on with it.

I certainly have moments of indecisiveness.  But I also have no tolerance for people who can’t get out of their own way.  For example, it drives me loopy sitting in a restaurant when people take 15 minutes to decide on a dinner selection.  They wave off a polite, well-paced, patient waiter four times while debating the merits of salmon encrusted in almond flakes versus steak au poivre.  If you’re my mom you’ve earned the right to take your time.  Otherwise, please, make your choice.  You won’t even remember what you ordered tomorrow morning.  And by the way if you’re eating at McDonalds you can just order the Chicken McNuggets and change up the sauces - they have 8 of them.  And, it’s very scary that I know that.  

You are going to screw up.  But make the call and tell everybody anyway.  99.8 percent of the time it won’t be the end of the world.  And whatever happens people won’t be sitting on their hands waiting to DO SOMETHING.  Make the decision, move on.  Next?  

Why is that important?

Imagine Obama had taken weeks to decide what to do with the general? The media circus that would have surrounded the “decision” would have been a joke.  It’s over and done with and we can go back to wondering why BP is acting like idiots.  Hallelujah.

Baby boomers have trouble with this.  We (and I know not everyone reading this goes into that baby boomer “we” but go with me for a moment) are the generation who were suddenly given more than chocolate, vanilla and that crazy three-flavor ice cream combo our grandparents served (was it strawberry?)  We were given mint chocolate chip, rocky road, and eventually Oreo.  Soon there were 437 flavors.  Today, our kids have even more choices.   

Yet all these choices have not improved our skill at CHOOSING. 

So let this be a lesson to all of us.  Decisive is in.  Go out there today and make a decision - even if you’re not sure.  Pretty soon your staff will be saying things like — “brilliant move.”  And hey, even if they don’t, at least they won’t be confused. 

 http://newsbusters.org/blogs/kyle-drennen/2010/06/23/media-praise-obamas-brilliant-decision-fire-gen-mcchrystal#ixzz0s91zgomJ

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Rome wasn’t built in a day, but imagine if those Romans had had the internet.  They would have loved it.  Log into Monster.com and hire the team; order supplies and get overnight delivery from Lowes; Google winning city architectual plans and then go to Amazon to choose business best - sellers on project management.  Way cool.  

Yes, it is incredibly comforting to know that many of our needs can be met in an instant.  I’ve just started to wonder what impact this has on leaders.  If we all are conditioned to expect it now, is that a good thing or a bad thing? 

I’ve never been a patient person so this is my era.  The Easy Button from Staples?  That’s a potent fantasy.  I love Google.  The other day I googled Mika Brzezinski chatting about ”working with the White House on talking points on the Gulf oil spill,” and watched the video clip before my Keurig Single Cup Coffee Maker finished brewing that cup of Chocolate Glazed Donut coffee - which we ordered because it takes too long to brew a whole pot.    

If our parents thought we wanted everything yesterday, they should see us now.  We are truly, madly, deeply in love with instant gratification.  I don’t have to go to the bookstore or even go online and order a hard copy from Amazon.com (and wait 4 days to receive it.)  I can fire up my Kindle, press three buttons, and download any one of 500,000 books in 6 seconds.   

In today’s world, is patience still a virtue as your grandmother said?  I don’t know.  It would be foolish to judge our generation as better or worse.  We are a product of our environment.  However, the question is how to harness the good part of impatience and get things done without driving people crazy.  

You know what you must do.  Set goals.  Assemble the right team.  Get them working together.  Engage them and keep them motivated.  Hold them accountable and measure success.  If you want to do that faster then you must cultivate one additional skill- one that every leader must have.  That is - the ability to communicate what you want in a way that engages and motivates others to do it when it needs to be done.  

If it’s all in your head - you’re just wishing you could push that Easy Button  –then good luck to you.  If nobody knows what you want, then how can you expect quick results?  

Think about it like Google.  Capture it in a key phrase. Articulate a clear, succinct powerful idea.   It’s harder than you think.  Recently, while working with a group of leaders I challenged them to use our “Big Idea” process to clarify what must be done and why.  The trick is they have to do this in 25 words or less.  They worked for 2 hours and were still debating it.  Like I said, it isn’t easy.  As Mark Twain once famously said, I would have written a shorter letter if I’d had more time.  

So the Easy Button is just a chotchke, but you can get faster better results when you get specific and clear in your communication.  Get it right and watch those results populate like Google filling your search page.  Good stuff in, good stuff out, at the speed your business needs to move right now.

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Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
‘Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
The Who, 1978

When the English rock band The Who (Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, plus bassist john Entwistel and drummer Keith Moon) recorded one of their iconic 70’s anthems, their chorus posed a haunting rhetorical question to a guy who wakes up in Soho after a drunken, brawling night.    

More than 30 years later, it’s hard to get those words out of your mind isn’t it?  Not only when you’re 23, nursing a hangover, pondering how to make something of your life; but also when you’re older and figuring out what am I doing here?  It’s important to ask because we all have a need to connect who we are with what we do.  Call that - authenticity.    

Years ago in designing our executive coaching program we developed an in-depth personal history interview for that reason.  We realized we couldn’t coach anyone until we knew who they were.  Where were you born; what did your parents do; what kind of student were you; what was college like; what did you want to be when you grew up?  What happened earlly in your career; who were the people who shaped you; why did you choose this path?  Why this industry?  This company?  This leadership role?  

What’s intriguing is that this process isn’t just a valuable coaching tool.  It helps our clients remember stories they had forgotten that reconnect the past with the present.  These stories are a bridge to authentic leadership; useful not only to you, but to the people you lead.  They also want to know.  Who are you?      

Years ago I met Dan Wolf, CEO and founder of Cape Air. Dan is a pilot with a side-splitting sense of humor and a gift for storytelling. Known as the airborne executive, he grew up fascinated by flying, hanging around airports.  In the summers between college at Wesleyan, he learned to fly around Cape Cod. He tooks his last semester of college off to become an instructor and commercial pilot.  Cape Air began as a flying school and then expanded to take on more and more routes.  Eventually they became America’s largest privately-owned and operated commuter airline. 

In an interview in CNNMoney.com a couple of years ago, he said, “There are airline CEOs who make a point to be active on the front lines — handing out nuts and meeting passengers in the airplane — but I really love the idea of still being able to fly. I make it a point to fly Saturdays in the summer because I know we’re busy. I’ll see how the operation is working, and since I’m flying on the weekend, I’m not taking time away from my desk job.”

Now there is a guy who is passionate about his company.  He loves flying.  I understand who he is.  So do his employees.  This could account for the fact that when you click on the awards list of their web site you have to keep scrolling and scrolling.  They’ve won everything from the prestigious Ernst and Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award in New England to the Greater Boston Chamber Small Business Award, and Cape Cod Citizen of the Year Award, and dozens of others.

I don’t have any interest whatsoever in promoting or highlighting Dan Wolf - I’ve only met the guy once.  But I think I “get” who he is.  And I would imagine that people who work for him do, too. 

When people understand who a leader and that resonates with them, they’re like to want to be part of his or her organization.  If you love the Cape, enjoy the aviation business, like the idea of working for an employee owned company run by a guy with passion and a sense of humor, then you’re quite like to find Cape Air attractive.  And once you get there, you’re likely to work hard and stay around.  

It isn’t always an easy question to answer.  But I will tell you this.  It’s worth examining.  

Who are you?

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“Unless commitments are made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans”

-Peter Drucker

Yesterday a client canceled an appointment.  Big deal?  Depends.  Emergencies happen.  But I can predict with 100% accuracy whether a client is floundering or flourishing simply by whether he or she keeps these commitments. 

The flounderers do not call me directly, they have their assistants do it; the conversation usually goes something like this: ”So sorry, something’s come up with Mr. Flounder, we didn’t anticipate it.  I really apologize for the inconvenience.  Can we reschedule?”

When you’re having trouble meeting your commitments there are three reasons: 

1.  Failure to set priorities. 

2.  Activities not aligned with those priorities.

3.  An issue with commitment.

If any of the above sound familiar, read on. 

Failure to Set Priorities

If your issue is setting priorities, then it’s time to get real about what really matters to you.  The quality of your questions determines the quality of your answers.  Questions you might ask yourself are:

• What are my top priorities, really? 
• How will I accomplish these this year? 
• What will be the impact when I’m finished? 
• And how do I know that this is what I should be doing?”

Activities Not Aligned with Priorities

If you suspect that the issue is not priorities, but alignment, then it is time for tough love with your calendar.  Everything should be related to one of your priorities.  Take 10 minutes to spin through the next two months and see whether this is the case.  If not, it explains why you’re getting to the end of your days feeling frustrated.  

If it’s important enough to do, then it is important enough to put on your calendar.  Write in each activity related to a priority. Leave white space for meetings, calls, and emergencies (there will be plenty of those) and don’t allow yourself to fill it up with “nice to do” stuff.  If you aren’t sure, put it in as tentative, and don’t commit.   And, don’t allow anyone access to your calendar unless they are completely apprised of your priorities and you are absolutely assured they will run interference and guard your time like gold bars at Fort Knox.

An Issue with Commitment

If the issue is inability to commit, well, that’s a horse of a different color.  Short of taking up space on a therapists couch for a few years, what can you do to address commitment issues?  Remember there is a difference between interest and commitment.  I’m interested in learning to play golf, and what that means is I will probably do it when circumstances permit- when I’m traveling to a conference at a beautiful resort in Arizona I’ll set up a lesson with a pro.  However, I am committed to writing a third book.  I had a call with my publisher, McGraw Hill two weeks ago.  Last week I scheduled time to brainstorm book outlines and wrote three of them during that two hour period, and I will share those with my agent when we meet on Friday from 2 to 4 pm.  You get the idea.  As the saying goes, when you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, just results.

I’m interested in hearing from you about the challenges of meeting commitments.  It isn’t getting any easier - our companies have fewer resources, the time pressures are greater than ever, and the Blackberry vampires are sucking our time dry.  Hit leave a reply to offer real ideas about meeting commitments.

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Last night Jeff Taylor and I were invited to speak to the Harvard Business School Alumni Association.   When you share the stage with Jeff, get ready for a great ride because he’s cool and he’s got cool stories.  You  should have been there watching the audience as he described taking a dare to ski three miles towed by a blimp, at 30 MPH in a quest to break a record set by the flamboyant Richard Branson of Virgin. 

As founder of Monster.com Jeff has a lot of these stories.  In 1999 when Monster.com was just hitting its stride but certainly not yet “monstrous,” he spent a fortune to buy Super Bowl ads which flopped.  You might remember the ads depicted kids saying things like, “When I grow up, I want to claw my way into middle management.” What happened?  “We were being ironic.  It didn’t work with a bunch of guys drinking beer in front of a game.”  Ultimately the ads kept running, caught on like mad, and rest is history.  

There were more stories.  At the 2002 Winter Olympics Taylor spent four million bucks to build a snow labarynth and it was the warmest on record.  Just in time as the snow was melting the Today Show called and he got four minutes on live TV.  ”Matt ran through the thing in no time and thought no big deal.  Al was holding a flag just stuck in the middle,” says Taylor.  “Katie gets stuck, backs out, starts again, and says now she gets it.  Sometimes in your career you have to back up and start over.  It was incredible,” says Taylor. 

As often happenes when I go out to speak, I get more than I give.   Watching Jeff regale this crowd of Business School grads (though he himself took 23 years to graduate from college) was more fun than anything else I’ve done this week, or this month for that matter.  Here’s a CEO who gets it on so many levels. 

When I interviewed him for Motivate Like a CEO last year, he told me that he had noticed as his company grew, his role changed.  He went from founder to CEO to Chief Monster, his favorite role, where he went out and built the brand by going everywhere he was invited and speaking to just about anyone who would have him.  He got really good at speaking.  Not only is he a great storyteller, he openes up and shares everything - humor, emotion, personal insights, reflections - it’s no holds barred.  A lot of people in the audience might have assumed that he was a natural, but as he told me last year, and as he told the audience last night, he works at it, and keeps working at it.  He says he  really believes that Woody Allen line about 80% of success is about showing up.  “I just got back from Iceland where I was invited to judge an entrepreneurs contest.  They’re trying to save Iceland.  Why do I go?  I’m not sure.  But I’ve been showing up for a long time and it works.”

Jeff has two companies now - Eons - an online community for baby boomers, and a spinoff called Tributes.com for online obituaries.  If you’ve read Motivate Like a CEO you know that coming up with big ideas and inspiring others to get behind them is one of the characteristics of successful leaders.  One of the best questions last night were about where leaders get these “big ideas.”  “I have ideas all the time - I’m in the shower, I get an idea, and then I get out, and I forget.  I have to get back in the shower to find the idea,” he says.  “I wake up in the night, with a pad of paper next to the bed, and write them down.”  Of course everybody HAS ideas, says Jeff.  It’s those who ACT on them who make things happen and attract other people who are excited about them too.

You know the blimp ski story?  Jeff says the coolest thing was that as he was bumping along, he was hit by a huge wake left by a barge and wiped out.  All 500 of his employees were gathered in the cafeteria watching it live.  They went wild.  They loved it.  Working for Jeff was like that.  “We had the absolute best culture at Monster.  People loved working there.”  What you have to appreciate about Jeff is he gets that.  When he dons his skis, or builds snow forts, he’s out to have fun, and he also knows how his employees will feel about it.  He’s their leader.  

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Leadership guy Jon Gordon is writing about a timely topic. The author of  Playing to Win, What the Best do Better Than Everyone Else, and Training Camp, Ten Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work and team with Positive Energy, writes this week that “There was a time in most of our lives when we had no fear-that feeling when we jumped from the jungle gym and slammed our little bodies to the ground.”  He says we “felt there was nothing we couldn’t do.”  Yet somewhere along the way Gordon notes that we start to understand what it means to be fearful, and “let fear into our lives.”  And this of course, changes the way we approach our careers and our lives.

This is a timely message.  Even the most intrepid, courageous leader has been battered by tough economic times.  No question that the downturn has helped us focus on the highest priorites, improve efficiency, and execute with fewer resources.  Yet now is not the time to operate in fear. It’s time to screw up our courage, dive in the pool, and encourage our teams to do the same.  We’ve need to break away from the negative energy that is feeing our fears and insecurities; stop listening to the inner voice that says we shouldn’t or can’t.  As Gordon says, “go after our dreams.”  What’s at stake is not just the opportunity in front of us.  Living in fear can become a habit that keeps us stuck for the rest of our lives.

If you “play to lose,” and communicate this to others, then everyone in your organization will do the same.  That’s why everytime you speak with your direct reports, your teams, and your organization you need to get focused and feel the courage. People aren’t just listening to the words, they are reading between the lines.  You can’t fool them.  Take charge of your emotional state before you speak.  Communicate wih confidence. Invite others to make courageous decisions.  Make them believe in themselves.  Encourage them to lose the fear. 

As I’ve discussed in Motivate Like a CEO, leaders are the keepers of the emotional life of their organizations.  In challenging times, they must take control of their emotions and lead the way.  If you are a leader, now is the time to take an emotional inventory, before you stand up to speak.  Get in touch with your own courage, and then, light a fire; make them believe. If you live and work with zeal and act with courage they will do the same. As Gordon puts it, “overcome fear and adopt a play to win mindset.”   

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This week I’ve been thinking about that saying, “lead by example.”  The origin of this well-worn standard is a Chinese proverb, yi shen zuo ze, which means ”to set a good example,” or “set yourself as the standard.”  For thousands of years people have known that a leader’s actions must match his or her words.  As I have discussed in the 8 principles of Motivate like a CEO, great leaders walk the talk. 

But is that enough?

Yes and no.

If you work in a high functioning organization, chances are your leaders walk the talk.  They live the values.  It comes from the top down.  Leaders who live the values inspire others.  

This brings me to posting your values statements on the wall.  This is a form of communication, but it isn’t the answer to creating a values based culture. People believe what they see and hear from their leaders, not what they read on a poster. If one leader in the organization is acting by a different set of rules, people will see that individual as an outlier.  However, if employees see that more than one leader living by different standards, that’s a trend.  They’ll scoff at the values and their cynicism will foster a negative, demoralized workplace.  

So of course, leaders have to live the values.  But is that enough?

Not really.  Why?

Because in a large organization, most people don’t get to meet you.  They certainly don’t see you every day, every week or every month.  In fact, they may go years without ever shaking your hand.

However, most people will be invited to a business meeting and hear you speak; they may receive emails from you; they may hear from their own bosses about how you’ve handled certain situations.    

This is why a leader has to not just lead by example, but also talk about examples of how the organization are living by its values.  If you can’t have lunch with every employee, you need to connect with them in a personal way through the stories of the organization.  You can do this through speeches, presentations, videos and even email and blogs.  

Tell stories that demonstrate how successful people in your organiztaion are walking the talk.  Collect these stories routinely and then share how teams and groups have been living the values.  Once you start to do this people will tell you more stories about living the values and you’ll soon have a collection of these stories to share. 

The ability to share compelling stories with points through speaking and writing is a critical leadershp skill.  if you’re not sure how to find stories - think of a time when your team has faced a difficult situation.  Perhaps you disappointed a customer and had to “do right by them.”  Perhaps someone working on a project had to go above and beyond.  What happened?  Why did the team or individual make that decision?  What was the outcome?  How did it illustrate the values? What did the team learn from that experience?  How can others apply the lesson?

These are the stories that you need to share with your organization.  For your next presentation, investigate three examples of how the organization has succeeded, and analyze how those successes are tied to your values.  It will be well worth it, because when people hear a story, they remember the story, and then they remember the point.

So living by example is only half of the battle. The rest is sharing the stories with others. 

以身作则
yǐ shēn zuò zé
To set a good example / Set yourself as the standard

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